I’m so sick of thinking I’m the one who fucked Shit up. But I’ll never know, cuz the other one doesn’t know how to handle life feels and good things. I actually don’t even know if that is valid. That’s the thing. I don’t know. And my head is spinning. The problem is is that I am letting my head spin. I must remember that I am in control of my own well being and happiness. It’s just hard. Fucking hard as fuck.